Being Nice Is Not Foreplay — V1 (Original)

Sometimes my wife gets mad at me because I am nice to ladies. Whatever lady, married, not married, doesn’t matter. Oh, when the hell did you open the door to her? Oh, why did you serve all this food? Because my girlfriend’s coming home. Because I was being nice. Yeah, but that means that she’s gonna… what? Have sex with me? You think that your best friend is going to use the excuse that I was nice to her, that I had a nice spread when she came to visit us. She’s gonna have sex with me because I was nice to her. I don’t know why women need an excuse to have sex. I don’t need no excuses. If she says let’s go, that’s all the excuse that I need. What?